Don’t Ask Don’t Tell
| Our Rating:
L Factor: Minor lesbian content
Short Take: Aliens come to make us all gay in this sci fi spoof using redubbed footage from a 1954 alien killer movie.
Duration: 81 min
MPAA: Not Rated
|Director: Doug Miles
Writer: Tex Hauser
Starring: Peter Graves, Barbara Bestar, Lloyd Floyd, Erik Frandsen, Darby McKinney, Martin Friedrichs
Don’t Ask Don’t Tell Trailer
Watch It Now
Buy It Now
When the 1954 movie Killers from Space became public domain, the folks at Refried Flicks came up with the original idea to use the corny footage but give it a redubbed soundtrack and plot. The result is akin to ‘Mystery Science Theater 3000,’ but not quite as funny.
During the reign of the Bush administration, the military plans to rid the United States of gay people by luring them to Sodom, Texas and dropping a bomb on them. The bomb goes off course, landing in Inbred, Texas instead, and the Enola Gay Basher crashes.
Its pilot (Peter Graves) should be dead, but shows up back at the base all of a sudden gay with amnesia. Military doctors finally learn that he was abducted by aliens who hit him with their gay beam. From the planet Uranus, the aliens are the protectors of all homosexuals in the universe, and tired of the current threats to gay people, they have decided to make everyone on Earth gay.
The aliens also admit that they have always been the ones who make people gay, showing a list of names in line for the next gay beam. (Hillary Clinton is on the list.) When the giant beam finally hits, the pilot’s wife Ellen (Barbara Bestar) comes out with, ‘I could sure munch on a muff right about now.’
Since most of the characters are men, most of the jokes are more gay, rather than lesbian. Stupid to the core, this is a crazy movie that is good for some laughs, but new footage spliced into the old turns out to be not very funny, and it all goes on a little too long. (AB)